When thinking about where we want to go, we often get caught up in the future of what could be. We dream up big visions of the world that could be but often times we get caught up in the hope of something better it’s hard to figure out how to get there. We ask others but it’s useless because they haven’t been there or done that. Actually, even if they had – they’re likely not able to tell you the formula in which they took to arrive where they are. Often times, we get a simple answer – “Just keep at it”. While it doesn’t seem helpful, it’s all you need to do.
The act of trying is fundamentally a lost cause depending on what you’re trying to do. If you’re trying to do something abnormal and unexplored without much guidance – it’s incredibly difficult but not impossible. However, NOT trying at all always results in complete failure 100% of the time. The reason being is that trying increasing your chances and allows you to experiment. If you try the same thing over and over again… to loosely paraphrase Albert Einstein, “you’re insane”. But think of it this way, life is not a vacuum and the variables in each try differ from each time we try. Maybe it’s the time, maybe it’s the place – it’s hard to determine given the data that we can see. Does this mean we stop trying? That’s more of a question for you and not something you’ll find here.
Stopping to try means a few things, either you’ve hit a tangible limit or you’re approaching it wrong. Maybe you’re the problem, or maybe it’s something else. Timing tends to be my greatest enemy. Ever think “I should have said it this way instead” or “ah, that’s what I forgot?” well that’s me in a nutshell. My mind races so quickly sometimes that I often forget or say the wrong things. Words are hard. But I still try, because the act of not trying is more painful to me and it doesn’t make me happy.
Personally, I think everyone should pursue happiness. We try in life to find some semblance of happiness whether it be to meet a goal or better bond with others in a relationship. If not trying makes you happy in the long term, then that’s fine. After all, ignorance is bliss. I’m not so fortunate to be able to live in ignorance though, so I continue to try. Maybe the idea was flawed from the get-go or maybe there’s 1,000 maybes in my head that are getting in the way or maybe the timing wasn’t right again. The act of trying though allows me to go through these maybes and learn from them. Only with learning and applying can I try to arrive where I want to go.
It’s easy to be discouraged by the “no” or “maybe nots” but personally I don’t take offense to that. At the end of the day we’re trying. The act of trying is meaningful in itself. It’s difficult, but it doesn’t mean it’s not worth pursuing. I’m not the most eloquent person but I have my moments. In relationships I often miss social cues. Texting is the bane of my existence because I naturally rely a lot of non-verbal cues. Such is the life of an atypical person. However, moving past that I’m best when I’m in the moment. That’s where I can be myself and most fluid. When you feel something is important, don’t get discouraged and think about if what you’re doing will make you happy. If it won’t make you even remotely happy – why are you doing it?
When I find myself in a situation where I’m doing something that won’t make me happy, I just think about what will and work backwards from there. As a close friend told me, “Just start”. It’s okay to fail but keep trying. After all, not trying means you’ve already failed. Try and try again, it’s okay to just try.