In the last decade, and perhaps even longer, we’ve moved on from self-blame to blaming others for everything. Maybe someone said something in a way that you didn’t take kindly to or it wasn’t delivered very well. But how is someone supposed to just inherently know? Societal norms do help play a part but these days it’s becoming increasingly hard with additional requirements and egg shells to walk on.
But where do these issues stem from? The answer is – you. That, is the root origin, of a lot of the issues. We clam up and refuse to share, teach, or learn after a series of bad experiences without any action to change the way we do things.
Unlike most things that are searchable on the internet, the framework of your existence isn’t available for others. The means and methods in which we want people to interact with us aren’t really known. This isn’t criticizing anyone in any way but merely an observation. A quote flew by my desk today that helps to frame our thinking for this conversation.
“How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you” ~ Anonymous
If we want to connect to others and a means in which they interact with us, the most critical aspect is to teach. Without teaching others, which takes time, there is no pre-defined means to quickly understand how am I going to approach this person. The consequences of not teaching others build individuals who keep a distance and only exchange pleasantries and small talk. Both of which are equally as boring as I can watch my eyes roll into the back of my skull. The outcome result? Shallow relationships that don’t amount to much other than surface level relationships. We can’t do much with that.
So, in essence, if you wish to connect it’s work to both teach and learn. Strive to become one that connects than waits to connect. Strive to teach instead of rebuke. Our human nature is to reject, so try to put that aside. You’ll be delighted to find how you’re able to make a positive impact in connecting with others.